Different types of violence
What can violence look like?
Intimate partner violence (IPV) can manifest itself in many different ways. It can for example be physical, psychological or emotional, financial, digital, material and/or sexual. Oftentimes, in a relationship with IPV, there are different violent types occurring at the same time – and sometimes by more than one perpetrator. The perpetrator can for example be your partner, ex-partner, a friend, a family member, your child or your boss.
Subjecting someone to violence is never acceptable and there are many Swedish laws prohibiting different types of violence. Not all but many acts are criminal offences and can therefore be punishable by Swedish law. According to the Penal Code (Brottsbalken), parts of the physical, psychological and sexual violence can be punishable through for example battery, rape, harassment, threats, taking photos without consent, et cetera.
It important to remember that IPV occurs among all classes, ethnicities, cultural or religious backgrounds, functional variations, ages, genders and sexual orientations.
Psychological violence
Psychological violence, or emotional violence, is through threats and manipulation controlling and exerting power over someone. Name-calling, insults, mockery, offensive words are examples of strategies. One might be threatened, isolated and controlled – or be questioned in whatever decision they make. When someone tries to make you question your own reality and truth, by distorting your words or denying something that happened, it also counts as a form of manipulation. This is called gaslighting.
One might also not be allowed to talk to whomever they want, whenever they want or do whatever they wish with their lives concerning work, hobbies, social life, studies et cetera.
Example phrases of psychological abuse may be: “if you leave me, I will kill myself/someone else”, “I will take custody of the children if you tell anyone”, “I know where you live/where you are”, “I will hurt the cat if you say another word”, “I saw how you were flirting”, “If you tell anyone, I will tell everyone about our relationship”, “Where are you? Who are you meeting?”
Physical violence
Physical violence is any violent act towards one’s body, for example slapping, kicking, biting, pushing and choking/strangling. It can also be shaking someone, pinching them, dragging them by their hair or arm or pinning them down.
It can also be someone throwing objects towards someone or using objects to hurt them.
Remember that physical violence doesn’t necessarily have to be painful count as physical violence.
Sexual violence
Sexual violence is any sexual act done to you without your consent. It could be touching you, kissing you, forcing you to have sex (rape) or perhaps giving you a meaning look that feels uncomfortable. Another example is someone doing sexual acts to you while you are asleep, unconscious or intoxicated, demanding “makeup sex” or in other ways coercing you into different sex acts (for example oral, vaginal, anal).
Being forced to watch pornography or other sexual acts, being photographed and/or recorded in sexual purposes, being forced to send nude photos or receiving unsolicited photos are other examples of sexual violence.
Financial violence
This means putting someone into a financial dependancy through controlling all the resources and money, not allowing someone to have their own money, stealing money, putting someone in debt or forcing them to present everything they purchase. Perhaps the peson is not permitted to have their own job and make their own money. It could also be a partner hiding mutual assets, taking loans in someone else’s name or starting up enterprises in their partner’s name.
Another example is being forced to partake in financial crimes such as money laundering or that the partner demands something in exchange for money.
Material violence
Examples of material violence are breaking glass, phones, furniture or other objects. It can also be slamming doors, punching walls, crushing windows or throwing your belongings on the street. The objects themselves don’t have to be expensive, it can also be belongings that have a lot of emotional value to you that your partner destroys – for example your favourite sweater or an old photo.
Violence against pets are also included here.
Digital violence
This type of violence is becoming more and more common as cellphones and social media increasingly are a part of our everyday life. Examples of this are going through someones phone, demanding to always be available on text/phone or having access to your passwords. The perpetrator may also install spyware on your devices without your consent, and therefore seeing your activity.
Digital violence can also be someone spreading rumours about you on social media, perhaps by creating fake accounts or spreading private photos of you.
Latent violence
This form of psychological violence can be described as the “invisible violence”. Examples of these are a feeling of strong aggression/anger from the perpetrator which you can detect through their body language, tone of voice or their gaze which causes you to feel afraid. Oftentimes this perceived aggression is in your close vicinity, for example in your own home or if you are in a social setting with others. The survivor becomes an expert at reading the perpetrators strategies, and may know when there is a risk of violence ensuing – just by detecting certain movements or looks. The feeling can be described as “walking on eggshells”.
You are not alone
Everyone reacts differently to violence and there is no reaction that is the “right one”. You deserve to live a life without violence. You have the legal right to obtain help and support from society.
If you are in need of protection and need to leave your home, you can contact the Social Services in your municipality (kommun) for a safe shelter. You are welcome to contact us if you wish to receive support through this process.
If you are in immediate danger, call 112.
Are you in need of support?
We are here to support you, listen to you and help you. We offer counselling and legal advice through the telephone, e-mail, our anonymous chat and video call. You can also meet us in person in our office. We can also help you in contact with the authoritites such as Social Services, the police, the Migration Agency and the court.
Call us at 020-33 99 00 or e-mail us at jour@fempowerment.se